The End of a Tough Month

I have been absent from the island for over two weeks. Not a good thing after such a promising start.

It has been a very difficult month. The snow, the short days and long nights, and the growing distance between what was and what is have all been in charge of this month. There have many many occasions that I have had thoughts that would like to have come here and shared with the island. Lack of determination has gotten in the way, way way too often.

I have caught myself thinking constantly about things #1 and #2. The gap grows wider and wider. I know that it will only continue to grow. I find myself analyzing why, but can come to no solid conclusions.

I have caught myself becoming less and less excited about basketball. That is a very difficult thing, because it has always been something that I have had a passion about. It seems that I have embarked on a path away from things that were and seem to be headed down a darker road where I desire less responsibility for the actions of others. Perhaps this will change soon too.

I have turned 48 since I have been here last. It was not a positive day in any sense. I spent a good portion of it alone. I also traveled to Bryan and back within a four hour period to basically deliver pizza and see my father's face. It has become brutal to be back there with his new wife. I genuinely fear the coming time when I won't want to be in Bryan at all. It is without a doubt one of my greatest fears.

We have a new president. So far I have found his time in office interesting as to how he uses a variety of resources to make things happen. It will be particularly interesting to see how he is treated by the media.

Say good-bye to January 2009. It will soon belong to the ages.