Crunch Time
Easter is here and is about to go. It is just about time to set my mind for the final days of the 2010-2011 school year. I have to be strong.
#2 and friend were here for Saturday night and through lunch today. It seems awkward sometimes when he is here.... other times.... not so much. Shali seemed tired and a little different than in the past. Not distant or anything that would lead you to think something was wrong, but.... different.
It was difficult today not to go back to Bryan. Pop didn't take it so well on the phone when I called about 11:45 or so. It was very brief.... but it was done.
I definitely need to put my nose to the stone and work on what will happen this summer. I desperately need to go to San Diego, but am frankly somewhat afraid of going alone on so many levels. But... I need to go.
It is about ten days until Neil. I am pleased at this point, that I took that plunge. It gives me something to look forward to. I have been listening a lot to Rust Radio online. I have been pouring over Neil videos in YouTube. Lots of very good things there.
Worked outside yesterday since it was the first decent weather day in over two weeks. The lawn mower.... was spectacular.... second pull. Incredible. One of the top five buys of my lifetime.
Was reading this evening online about Don McLean.... and came across this history about Don and his father. http://www.don-mclean.com/growingup.asp . The quote that really struck home with me was this one..
Don’s father was a typical member of 1950s middle class America. At that time, men and women retained the discipline and character that had been essential for survival during the Depression and World War II. The idea of “having it all” was déclassé. People were more likely to get a sense of self-worth from getting by on less and making it seem like more.
In many ways... I think the idea of getting more of a sense of self-worth from getting by on less and making it seem like more is without a doubt a truth. I know that I am a product of parents who looked at life this way. I am 100% certain that I have the same outlook. I relish doing more with less, than looking for more. The age old need vs. want question. I know that my father would/could live on nothing and make it glorious. For me.... it is good to suffer. Suffering makes me feel alive... because it is the single emotion I have felt and understand most often in my 50+ years.
If I haven't mentioned it in a while, I would like to thank the Island. I know that I have been disrespectful by not coming and posting regularly, or even semi-regularly. I also am very aware that it is an old friend that has always been there to listen, when I reappear after one of my hiatuses.
Hang on tight... and get on with what I have to do to move on to the next phase of my life and living. I hate leaving..... I hate it..... I hate it so much, that it keeps me from starting...... leaving is the single most painful thing on the planet. Always has been, always will be.
#2 and friend were here for Saturday night and through lunch today. It seems awkward sometimes when he is here.... other times.... not so much. Shali seemed tired and a little different than in the past. Not distant or anything that would lead you to think something was wrong, but.... different.
It was difficult today not to go back to Bryan. Pop didn't take it so well on the phone when I called about 11:45 or so. It was very brief.... but it was done.
I definitely need to put my nose to the stone and work on what will happen this summer. I desperately need to go to San Diego, but am frankly somewhat afraid of going alone on so many levels. But... I need to go.
It is about ten days until Neil. I am pleased at this point, that I took that plunge. It gives me something to look forward to. I have been listening a lot to Rust Radio online. I have been pouring over Neil videos in YouTube. Lots of very good things there.
Worked outside yesterday since it was the first decent weather day in over two weeks. The lawn mower.... was spectacular.... second pull. Incredible. One of the top five buys of my lifetime.
Was reading this evening online about Don McLean.... and came across this history about Don and his father. http://www.don-mclean.com/growingup.asp . The quote that really struck home with me was this one..
Don’s father was a typical member of 1950s middle class America. At that time, men and women retained the discipline and character that had been essential for survival during the Depression and World War II. The idea of “having it all” was déclassé. People were more likely to get a sense of self-worth from getting by on less and making it seem like more.
In many ways... I think the idea of getting more of a sense of self-worth from getting by on less and making it seem like more is without a doubt a truth. I know that I am a product of parents who looked at life this way. I am 100% certain that I have the same outlook. I relish doing more with less, than looking for more. The age old need vs. want question. I know that my father would/could live on nothing and make it glorious. For me.... it is good to suffer. Suffering makes me feel alive... because it is the single emotion I have felt and understand most often in my 50+ years.
If I haven't mentioned it in a while, I would like to thank the Island. I know that I have been disrespectful by not coming and posting regularly, or even semi-regularly. I also am very aware that it is an old friend that has always been there to listen, when I reappear after one of my hiatuses.
Hang on tight... and get on with what I have to do to move on to the next phase of my life and living. I hate leaving..... I hate it..... I hate it so much, that it keeps me from starting...... leaving is the single most painful thing on the planet. Always has been, always will be.
posted by cpc at 5:59 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home