2012 Has Arrived

This morning is quiet.




It was a rather uneventful New Year's Eve, and frankly, I just didn't have much enthusiasm about the passing of another year.



Historically, annually, this is one of the most important posts of the year..... A walk through the past to evaluate and analyze the past and to look forward to what is to come. My old pal Janus usually makes an appearance.



First let's consider what was predicted for 2011 and what actually happened.......

1. The A.D. position is over.

Well... this one became 100% true as far as title and salary. In de facto terms... it is 75% true. First of all, I can't believe I actually mustered up the courage back in May to end it. It wasn’t easy. I was very concerned about the lack of respect that would follow along with “what would I actually do with my time?” ….. I have experienced first-hand both scenarios and let me tell you… neither is good…. I have been asked countless times “How is it?”… my standard pat answer is “Different”…. “both bad and good”…. In reality… I sincerely believe that it was an error on my part. A total lack of determination and conditioning…. but… it is over……

2. The house wars continue with some minor victories and it still won't be right by 2012's arrival.

100% true…. wars continue…… small victories were achieved in the bedroom…. but the rest of the event is still in progress…… nothing was achieved in the formal living room nor in the bathroom….. The bathroom is a total embarrassment.

3. My father will continue on as he has with very little change.

True…. I would say about 85% true….. He has changed very little physically. Mentally… well… in some ways…. he is still as determined as ever… but… I notice him being more and more forgetful and more and more frustrated when he can’t keep up. I have noted that he has picked up some of her mannerisms…. and well…. all in all he hasn’t changed. But… on major note…. he installed internet service into his home and had me purchase a laptop for her. It was a major step, but I can’t help but wonder if he realizes what he has done. It might just be a ray of light into his home as far as being connected and modernized, but it also may prove to be the first wedge he has driven between his wife and himself. Already I have heard grumblings about how she pays attention to the computer instead of him…. it will be interesting to see how that trend develops.

4. #2 will graduate on time and will seek and find gainful employment. (and maybe become engaged)

Well… he graduated… although I am still somewhat skeptical about whether or not he graduated with both degrees. The graduation ceremony was held on June 12, 2011. He was pretty proud…. it was a good thing. His gainful employment has come via a temp. service that has him building electrical control panels at a place called Universal Tube. He works an incredible amount of overtime. I am not particularly pleased with his pay rate and benefit situation, but he has enough to pay the bills. As for him becoming engaged…. well… I am not certain that he has much incentive to do that given that he most likely enjoys most of the benefits of being married without being married. I think the world of her… .sincerely I do… but…I would be fibbing if I didn’t confess to wanting a more traditional arrangement. I wonder what she wants…. unknown at this point.

5. #1 will stay on status-quo and our relationship will continue to wane.

This one is 100% true. Even though I paid a visit for a week in July, the distance continues to widen. I simply don’t like it. Actually it kills me. I could probably blog for a couple of hours on this topic alone, but I’ll just leave it at…. It is killing me in that it takes away my purpose.

There is a walk through the 2011 predictions and now on to 2012…..

1. I will continue to evolve at work.

My role as department chair still provides me with plenty of opportunity to lead. Now granted that some of the department members are challenging to lead at best, but… there is opportunity to learn, share, and model some good teaching behavior on my part. The athletic role wanes, but…. I just don’t think I have the passion to lead that group. My role as advisor is more than enough….. I just fear what would happen should the current holder of the job be forced to step aside even for a short break. I am pretty certain that I would be asked to help…. I don’t know what my answer would be. Bottom line… plenty of room to grow and evolve at work.

2. Dad will do his best to increase his productivity but for the most part stay the course he is currently on.

I alluded to the possible change he has invited into his house by adding the internet. I think he will plod along and stay pretty much the same. I think his expectation of me to help teach her how to use the computer will lead to a few changes about how he sees me, but…. for the most part…. no change on the horizon here.

3. #2 will become engaged and will begin work on a family.
I think once again this is a risky prediction. I think his work situation will shore up his future enough for him to take the big step and propose. Maybe, maybe not… but… I think he will do it. I just hope he doesn’t sell himself short and settle. He has an incredible upside, that keeps him positive. However sometimes, I think he just settles for the shortest road. The work on a family prediction is scary to me, but…. time hurries on, and given that he will turn 24 this fall….. It wouldn’t shock me.

4. #1 will not come to visit and the distance will continue to grow.

Sometimes it is hard to believe that he has not been home in 3 years. Well 2 and a half actually, but it is incredible to think about. He was my masterpiece. Now he has become something else. I know that he is 24 years old and that he is in every way his own man. I just can not grasp that he doesn’t want at least some resemblance of a relationship with his family beyond a Sunday night phone call once a week and few emails here and there. Needless to say this is very very troubling to me, and frankly it keeps me awake at night often.

5. I will physically and emotionally struggle this year a great deal.

My right knee is awful. I can’t shake my annual sinus infection, that has now plagued me for about six weeks. I have zero conditioning, and I am incredibly lazy. Oh… and I forgot to mention that the arthritis in my left shoulder is a major growing concern. I went to see a medical doctor this past summer. It wasn’t awful, but I don’t have a ton of faith in him. His concern that our country’s financial problems are caused by people living too long sort of raised a red flag about his position on providing medical care that will extend people’s lives. Anyways…. he has fixed the blood pressure issue. In fact, I think it is fixed too good. Since beginning my medicine, I have lost all my conditioning and have very little zip at all. On the emotional front, I struggle to find purpose daily. I suspect that some of my ghosts will appear and that could bring on more than a few changes. I do not know what I want, and for the record, I am certain that I will be reactive rather than proactive, and that is troubling.

2012…. what will you bring? Deep down inside…… I would like to think that I can have a positive 2012, but… yet…. my healthy dose of skepticism creates a certain amount of pending fear.



Take care of the Island and be more diligent in stopping through and keeping things up to date.



And now… Janus!