Sinking

I am sinking.  As of late, sinking faster than ever.  I am a mixture of worried and scared.... Sinking....  Worse than I can ever remember.... Mostly because it lasts and lasts....  I fear and that is what the sinking feeds upon.

As I sift through this quicksand, I think or suspect the following things are gnawing at me. 

1. Son #1 - I don't see any foreseeable adjustments.  It will only spiral down. 
2. Returning to a new work place.  Even if it is temporary for a year, I am stressing over it. I simply do not want to go there.  
3. Physical Health.  Besides the overweight, I am battling new cases of bad skin above my right knee, bleeding skin tags, a sinus issue, and of course, arthritis.  I also suspect a growing heart issue. The blood pressure was up the other day at the athletic physicals, so... I suppose that looms large as well.
4. Sheer lack of motivation.  Simply put... I don't want really to do anything.  Anything at anytime.  I do not want to go anywhere.  I don't see how it is going to get better in any way. 
5. Looming retirement.   I hate the thought of it. I stress that it will end my belief that I have any resemblance of control over my own personal situation.  I have myself convinced that financial ruin is just slightly behind retirement. 
6. Moving..... I despise the thought of emptying this house and selling it. Despise it.
7. General discontent with myself. 

There. That is a decent start on my hole.... dig a hole.... keep on digging.... and better yet... .put a drain in the bottom..... What am I going to do?  I am in trouble.... sinking downward, ever downward.