Flying Solo

Back to flying solo...... 

Suzanne has gone to Sherwood to help de-clutter and prepare to paint.  I have to admit to being a little more active when she is gone.

Last night I even drove to Perrysburg to pick up a pizza for dinner....  I have not even once been that adventurous since the stroke.   I always worry that I will have something come up and I will completely melt down.   Maybe it would be a car accident or maybe the car would break down. Maybe it would be a physical accident....  well you get the idea....  Not much confidence.   But last night I took the risk.

The weather change is dramatic today from yesterday and this past week.   Mostly blue skies and one of the friendliest breezes I can recall in some time. Makes my mindset much more tolerable.

There is a great deal of anxiety over the pandemic and especially the decisions surrounding the return to school.  Our union president revealed to our group that we were repeatedly denied to participate in the discussion related to the reopening.  Then the Board requested an adjustment to the contract by separating athletic supplementals from the "regular" supplementals.   The athletic ones were to be adjusted so that coaches would be paid upon reaching "tiers".  I have not been vocal in many years, but yesterday I spoke out in our Zoom meeting.  I made a specific call for the union to protect those who are targeted by this request.  Coaches are targeted in my opinion by a very small number of board members, and I can not for the life of me understand the reasoning of our superintendent.   I have and will continue to support my employers. But .... I will not tolerate being fundamentally disrespected and as an elder, so to speak, it is my responsibility to lead.

Speaking of lead.....   I found it odd to feel the adrenaline rushing through me with this speaking out about the memorandum request.  I felt energized.  My blood pressure came right up.....  I felt like I had a purpose.   It certainly suggests that some of my physcial/emotional obstacles are caused by the very reason I genuinely feared leaving my job as athletic director.   Contemplate.... just for a moment what leaving my teaching position will bring in "losing my purpose".   Incredibly dark days would set in and....  well....  let's not contemplate where that may lead.

Son #1 turned 33 yesterday.  We spoke for a few minutes and he seemed pretty good.  I certainly missed him, but you know.... with the fundamental understanding that travel during the pandemic is not really all that possible or reasonable to expect....... I can deal with his absence much easier.   Not totally... but easier...

This has been a nice visit to the Island. It is a rare thing that I am typing on the school laptop.  But....  it is comfortable...   This laptop has become incredibly comfortable.  But make no mistake....  it is not mine.  Nothing that is issued by our school district is mine.   That is one lesson I have learned the hard way over the past two or so years.  To have ever have thought otherwise was foolish.   Still I choose to enjoy this laptop....   even if it isn't mine.

Flying solo....  Flying solo....  It is ok this time..... but I hope to not make it a habit.